futuremint

futuremint

Dave Woodward  //  Father and Programming Language Enthusiast. Has a love/hate relationship with computers. Insufferable iconoclast in almost all walks of life. Prefers dynamic languages with s-expressions and unpretentious technology. However, still prefers small words. And irony.

 
Jul 7, 2010 / 11:18am

Response to "Why Parents Hate Parenting"

I commented on this article when it was linked on Hacker News, and I realized that my comment was probably worthwhile to non-readers of Hacker News too.

Why Parents Hate Parenting
http://nymag.com/news/features/67024/

The lens through which parenting is viewed in the above article is too narrow. Parenting isn't about being happier. It is about being a bigger and better person. Children make your life BIGGER. You feel moments of happiness like you've never felt before. You also feel moments of anger like you've never felt before.

It really is indescribable and not for the faint of heart or the selfish. The beautiful thing about parenting is that it shows you who you really are (not who you think you are), and gives you chances every day to grow.

It makes you see what really matters in life, assuming you actually come to this realization. I've seen plenty of people not realize this and fight to keep their identity, their original idea of what they wanted for themselves while also trying to be a parent. That doesn't work.

Part of parenting is a certain amount of ego destruction. You have to go through that if you want to genuinely care for another human being.

This is what makes the experience of parenting so great. It is a kind of Zen experience of making yourself better by destroying your concept of self (and putting another 'self' first more than your own self would like).

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